Archive for the ‘Relationships’ Category

Are you fed up with the notions of what you’re supposed to do? 

We’re all taught early in life that we’re supposed to grow up and work for a company like an indentured servant for 40 years and then fade away at retirement with a company pension that barely covers the necessities of daily existence. However, people are becoming more enlightened and educated, realizing that there’s a better way. You can have a prosperous life and feel fulfilled!

“The Secret” Exposed

The incredibly popular book and movie, The Secret, has made such a powerful impact on people, but at the same time, The Secret isn’t really revealing anything new. It speaks of ancient secrets that successful people have used since the beginning of time. People within “inner circles” throughout the ages have jealously guarded this secret because they felt that if it got out, it would quickly be distorted or watered down. 

But now, the increasing educational level of people has allowed the average person to learn about and use the secret law. And that law is: like attracts like. This essentially means that you have to picture yourself as wealthy and successful in order to be someone who is wealthy and successful. 

• Creating a positive mindset and thinking about the positives in life is paramount to “The Secret” working.

If you can see yourself as wealthy and successful, then you can become that way – even if you start with nothing. Wealth and success are not matters of luck or some kind of rare talent. Success is created by habits. These habits are instilled in people through visualizing their dreams as reality. 

It’s More Than a Pipe Dream…

You have to do more than just visualize your bank account overflowing with cash. You have to be willing to take action, even if only baby steps. Keeping that positive mindset always at the forefront of your thoughts will help you focus and guide you to take the correct steps to prosperity.

• If you intensely picture your life as prosperous, you’ll begin to notice opportunities arising that will lead you to newfound prosperity, such as a job promotion or a new position with a different company.

• If you intensely picture your life as being debt-free, then you’ll see opportunities to make extra money to pay off those credit cards, such as doing odd jobs for neighbors, having a yard sale, or selling unwanted items on eBay.

• If you intensely picture yourself having a healthy body, then you’ll subconsciously start to make changes to your lifestyle. Sometimes a visual reminder helps keep you motivated, so find a picture of a healthy body and give yourself permission to want that for yourself.

When you can visualize your new life and focus on what you want to do and where you want to be, you’ll attract great things to your life. On the flipside, if you hold onto negative thoughts, you will only attract more negative feelings and experiences in your life. 

Give yourself permission to desire a good life and focus your mind deeply and fully. You must first believe that you deserve a good life before you can live one. That is the secret.

When was the last time you said thank you for being alive? Sounds silly, doesn’t it? Well, if you barely have time to appreciate what you have, how can you ever desire anything more? 

We all have something to be thankful for, even those who live a modest lifestyle by choice or by circumstance. 

• Focusing on material possessions, rather than on the very fact that we’re living and breathing, tend to make us forgetful of the greater gifts, such as our families and our health.

Life is a miracle and can be taken away in a moment’s notice. Regardless of your spiritual beliefs, there are many ways you can show your appreciation for your life.

5 Ways to Express Your Gratitude 

Sometimes showing your gratitude can be as simple as saying “thanks,” but other times you can show gratitude by helping others, or “paying it forward.” After all, you’ll never know how a simple, kind gesture will affect someone’s day. 

Here are some ideas to help you appreciate life while also helping others: 

1. Reach out to your extended family and friends. Send them cards just to say “Hi,” call or email them, or even throw a party to reconnect and show these people they’re important to you. 

2. Reflect about your childhood and ancestors. Write a poem, essay, or short story about your life. What sacrifices did your parents make for you? What struggles did the family endure? How is your life better or easier than that of your great-grandparents? How did these events make you the person you are today?

3. Meditate, pray, or go to your place of worship. Find a quiet place to think about all that’s good – your health, family, or home – and simply say “thank you” to your Creator.

4. Reconnect with your spouse and children. Actions speak louder than words so turn off that television and spend some quality time with your family just to have some fun! Whether it’s a surprise getaway or a family game night, renewing your relationships with your family will strengthen your bond and bring you closer together.

5. Keep a gratitude journal. Write down all the things you’re grateful for in your life and reflect on all that is good. Even the simplest things – such as finding a parking space at the mall or locating your missing keys – are times to be grateful!

When You Need a Wake Up Call

Sometimes it’s all too easy to engage in these activities and give thanks for a good life, yet over time, we somehow fall back into our old habits. In these times, we need a jolt to remind ourselves of all that is good.

• Spend a few hours a week volunteering at a hospital, nursing home, or soup kitchen. Take a good look at the people you’re helping, listen to their stories, and be grateful that you’re fortunate enough to help those in need.

Giving Is Receiving 

When you give of yourself – either with a smile or another kind gesture – you receive the warm satisfaction of helping to make a difference in the world, one person at a time. Your uplifting attitude will be contagious and you just might be the recipient of a random act of kindness!

Suze Orman – On Generosity Video

suzi orman, susan orman, susy orman, susie orman,
susy orman

by Suze Orman

A major step toward financial freedom is about getting back in touch with your money and understanding that you have the power to decide how to use it. And it’s about being honest with yourself. Have you ever taken a big wad of bills from an ATM machine, then found yourself, a day or two later, nearly out of cash and unable to reconstruct exactly where you spent it? And even when you retrace all your steps, you still come up $20, $40 or $60 short? It’s upsetting, but most of us feel that way most of the time: a little short, a little panicky, wondering exactly where our money is going.

Where Do You Think You Stand Today?

What does it cost you to live each month? If you are married or living with someone with whom you share expenses, please ask him or her to write down the answer to the same question. Most of us believe we need about $1,000 to $1,500 a month less than we actually do need to go on living the exact same way we live right now. Surprisingly, this figure seems to vary only a little bit regardless of income levels. Where does this month-to-month self-deception lead us? Into financial chaos. Often, our planned spending doesn’t cover expenses that don’t occur every month or expenses that just crop up. For example:

• Do you consider the cost of your gym membership per month even if you pay to renew just once a year?
• Do you pay your insurance premiums twice or four times a year? Do you calculate the cost of insurance in your monthly bills?
• Where did you go on vacation last year? What did that one-time expense cost average over twelve months?

These big expenses hit once or twice a year, probably surprising you every time. And then there are seasonal expenses:

• Come summer, do you forget about how much higher the gas bills run in the fall?
• Do you have your windows washed once or twice a year?
• Did you send your children to summer camp last summer
• Do you get your hair cut and maybe colored every couple of months? How much, then, does it cost every single month?

The Money Book for the Young, Fabulous, & Broke The Money Book for the Young, Fabulous, & Broke is financial expert Suze Orman’s answer to a generation’s cry for help….

Here’s another surprise: If you make some sort of payment every week—child care, a cleaning woman, a mortgage payment withdrawn automatically every two weeks—the extra weekly payments will take place in four months of the year.

Plus the smallest expenses add up fast—the ones too small, you might think, to be worth figuring into your budget at all.

For instance, do you go to the movies once a week? When you do, do you buy the tickets for yourself and your partner, have popcorn and sodas, go for a simple dinner afterward, as simple as pizza or a burger and fries?

That’s not so much, is it? No, it isn’t, not on any given Friday night.

Maybe $16 for the tickets, $4 for the popcorn and sodas and $20 for a simple meal. But once a week over a year, that’s $2,080.

And too many of us forget to include expenses so "small." Other "small" expenses add up just as much. Magazine subscriptions, cosmetics, supplies for the yard, oil changes for the car, batteries for the flashlight, charcoal for the grill: Do you know what it really costs you to keep your life running smoothly over a year’s time?

How about special occasions? How many birthday parties, house warmings and baby showers did you attend last year? Didn’t you bring a present to each one? Might you have done that twenty times or more last year?

Finally, you need to allocate $50 to $100 each month for miscellaneous unpredictable expenses: dental work that’s not covered in your insurance, travel to your brother’s wedding.

Most of my clients are shocked to discover by how much they have underestimated—and that’s when they’ve guessed as honestly as they can. It’s a scary realization, but there’s a wonderful flip side to that fear. Once you take this step, you will feel better for knowing the truth. And you will begin to gain power over the money that’s controlled you for so long.

Money Wisdom Money can’t make you happy, but not having it can be very challenging.  Financial planner and best selling author Suze Orman reveals why so many of us have persistent financial problems…

How Much Is Going Out?

Get out your canceled checks, ATM statements, credit card bills, whatever will tell you how you spent your money over the last two years. These papers are more revealing than a diary; they contain the key to how you live your life.

Yes, it will take you some time to do this, but think how much time it will give back to you in the future. You work 40 hours a week or more to earn your money. Take a few hours to take your money out of the darkness, to see it in the light of reality, to see where you stand. Don’t just read these pages—pick up a pen and take action.

• Go through your checkbook, canceled checks, computerized statements, all your records for the past two years.Not one year, but two years. Maybe this year was an extraordinary time – you remodeled the house, bought a new car—but looking at a two-year period, you’ll get a good idea of what it costs you to live the way you are living. All your checks, cash withdrawals, money spent every month, money spent once a year, money spent once a season, holiday expenses, everything.
• Make categories for each month—such as telephone, gasoline, food, utilities, vet bills, golf fees, baby-sitting.
• After all the categories are complete, total each category.Divide each category by 24. This will give you how much you spend per month on average for each category.
• Now add together all the averages in each category.This will tell you what it costs you to live each month. Remember, these are averages. If your average is $3,000, most months you’ll spend less—say, $1,800 or $2,000. But in some months you’ll spend $5,000 or $6,000. To meet your expenses, you need to bring in that average number each month.

The Courage to Be Rich: Creating a Life of Material and Spiritual Abundance (Unabridged) Best selling author and financial expert Suze Orman helped millions of Americans turn toward their money and embark on a true path to wealth…

How Much Is Coming In?

Now write down now all the income from every source that you have coming in. Only calculate an amount you are fairly certain will continue coming in for at least one more year.

• Monthly paychecks after taxes
• Predictable bonuses
• Social Security income
• Disability, rental and retirement income
• Gifts from your parents or children, if you can really count on them year in, year out
• Loan repayments, if they will continue for more than a year

Take this total and divide it by 12, so you can see what you have coming in after taxes on a monthly basis. If you’re like many of us, you’ve just confirmed that you spend more than you thought. Quite possibly you also spend more than you earn. What can you do? You can do one or both of two things: Make more money and/or decide to spend less. Look at each of your categories again, and decide how much in each category you want to spend.

If you’re spending more than you’re earning, this solution is not about creating limitations. It’s about making decisions—determining what you most want to spend your money on. If you can make more money realistically, then you’re in a position where you may be able to earn what you spend and go on living the way you do right now. If you’re like most of us, however, more likely you need to decide to spend your money differently.

This does not mean that you have to take one drastic action that crimps your pleasures and quality of life, such as getting by with one car when you family needs two. Consider, instead, making the decision to spend $25 to $30 less per month from 15 or 20 of your spending categories. Some categories are fixed.

There will be other categories—in fact, the majority of categories—where you can actually decide what the total spent per year will be.

Is there one magazine subscription you can do without?

Can you have three Friday movie nights a month instead of four?

Keep deciding to trim a little here, a little there, until what comes in matches what goes out. With each decision you make, you are gaining power over your money. Put down in writing the yearly total you decided on for each category.

Now keep track of what you spend in each category, month by month. Create a chart or system that will work for you. Each month when you pay your bills, check your spending by category. If you use up any allocation early and want to spend more in that category, you’ll have to make new decisions about what, if anything, you want to do by seeing where you stand with the other categories.

As a reminder, post the categories you’re trimming in your planner or on the fridge. You may find—as have many of my clients—that you can come up with wonderfully creative ways to trim your spending so that you hardly notice.

One family (both parents work and their teenage kids aren’t home much) now has the garbage picked up every two weeks instead of every week, trimming a painless $200 a year.

A single mother now goes to the grocery store every eight days instead of every single Saturday, simply paying more attention to the food she already has in the house. Last year she trimmed nearly $400 from what she allocated for food.

Another client, who described himself as a "compulsive spender on CDs," now weeds out the CDs he doesn’t listen to much anymore and trades them with friends. Last year he trimmed $600 and had just as many fresh CDs to listen to.

That same client also now does his taxes himself with a computer program, rather than going to his accountant.  Savings: $600.

But only when you see in front of you how you spend your money now will you be able to decide how you would rather be spending your money. This is the hardest step toward financial freedom. With this step you have been honest with yourself. Now you know exactly where you stand. Rather than being dictated by a restriction, your actions—and your money—are dictated by the choices you make.

Financial Freedom: Creating True Wealth Now This practical, systematic approach to financial freedom is divided into three parts….

Suze Orman is a best-selling finance author. She has appeared on Oprah, two PBS specials, QVC, CNN, CNNfn, CNBC , Good Morning America and is a columnist for Self magazine and a regular contributor
on NBC’s Today show.

To Contact Suze Orman, click here

There are many ways to make Christmas merry and memorable! Unfortunately, sometimes it’s difficult nowadays to feel the joy through the cluttered maze that has become of Christmas. Through the years, Christmas has strayed too far from its original purpose and become a highly commercialized event.

When it comes to the holiday season, more people are concerned with buying the "perfect" gift for others and anticipating what they will receive, rather than focusing on the true spirit of the holiday.

It’s time to get back to the basics when it comes to the season of gift giving, love, sharing, and caring. This year, you can make your Christmas a joyous and stress-free holiday by following these 3 easy tips:

1. Give of Yourself. If you enjoy providing gifts to others, that’s a nice gesture. However, you should avoid dwelling on it too much. No matter what you can or cannot afford, there’s always one gift that you can give to others: the gift of your time.

• Christmas is only as commercialized as you allow it to be. Although it costs nothing, your time is the most precious gift of all.

There are many ways that you can give of yourself to others this holiday season:

• Be a friend who listens
• Spend time with a loved one
• Help someone with their household chores
• Babysit for a mother or father who really needs a break
• Let others know that you are available anytime they may need your help

2. Use Your Talents. No matter how nice that watch appears to look in the jewelry case, the homemade pen holder or the homemade blanket that you create for your friend, neighbor, coworker, or family member will be much more appreciated than anything you can buy in a store.

• Ultimately, handmade gifts are priceless, whereas the store bought gift will lose value over time.

Sure, store bought gifts are nice, but people will value your handmade gifts more due to one reason: you put your time, efforts, and love into creating those gifts. When the receiver thinks about your hard work and dedication in creating the gift, it will become more and more cherished.

Here are some ideas of homemade gifts you can make:

• Fresh-baked cookies, pies or jams
• Hand sewn quilts or crocheted scarves
• Framed photo collage
• Personalized scrapbooks
• Custom made jewelry

3. Cherish Your Time Together. In the end, we can’t take back time. Our time is lost in so many ways on a daily basis – especially around the holidays.

• It’s time to place our priorities on our family and friends rather than on the shopping and holiday preparations.

• Why fight the crowds on Black Friday when you could be enjoying your kids’ day off from school together? Wouldn’t you rather create some warm, happy memories?

• If you and your spouse don’t enjoy spending your day standing in long lines at crowded stores, then change it!

• Spending the night baking alone when your elderly mother is in town is such a waste. Plan your baking so you can enjoy each other’s company while things are in the oven.

If you want to make your holiday truly merry, remember to spend the time that you have with your loved ones enjoying each other. Make joyous memories instead of a frenzy of worrying, shopping, cooking, buying gifts and over-stressing.

If you follow the steps listed here, you’re sure to have a merry, memorable Christmas this year and every year!

Conflict is never an easy thing to deal with, but old, deeply rooted conflicts can really affect your body, mind and spirit. When you allow a past conflict to stew and become a defining part of a relationship, it can be challenging to move forward, but it’s not impossible, it’s just a matter of taking the right conflict resolution approach.

Look at the Conflict with an Open Heart and Mind

Many times a past conflict can be resolved by simply looking at it with a fresh, calm perspective.  When you learn how to look at a past conflict without raising your blood pressure or losing sleep, you’ll be much more likely to find an amicable resolution.

The first thing you should do is look at the conflict objectively. You need to raise all of the issues on your mind, but you must always be respectful. Actively listen to the other person, then ask that they do the same for you. Remember to focus on the problem, not the person because personal attacks have never solved anything! If you’re having a difficult time communicating, a third-party can help mediate the discussion so that all parties are equally heard.

Use your mutual interests and concerns as a starting point. For example, if you were fighting with a sibling over a parent’s estate, perhaps you were both trying to ensure that the estate was as fair and balanced as possible.  Go forward from this point so that you start at a place where you both agree.

Brainstorm resolutions that everyone can agree on. Conflict usually occurs when one or both parties sense inequality, so get together and brainstorm ideas that will help you resolve the conflict.  You may find that you are actually building on one another’s ideas. That’s a good thing! The goal is to come to a resolution that provides mutual gain.

Create standards of how things will be going forward and create all of your agreements surrounding these standards. This will help to ensure that you don’t have the same obstacles in the future.  By setting specific standards, everyone will be able to communicate in the most respectful and effective manner moving forward.

Accept What You Cannot Change

We all hear that we should accept the things that we cannot change, but this is easier said than done. When it comes to past conflicts you should always seek to resolve them first. If you cannot, it’s time to accept the things that you cannot change.

• Give up control. When you give up trying to control what is uncontrollable suddenly the stress of dealing with the conflict dissolves. You will feel like a mountain has been lifted off of your shoulders and you may find that you have a whole new look on life as well as the conflict and the person or people involved with it.

• Share what you feel. When you are feeling angry, hurt or upset, try sharing your feelings with a trusted friend or family member. It’s easier to move past conflicts when you have sounding boards at your disposal. You don’t necessarily have to talk to someone who was involved in the conflict, just share your feelings openly and honestly. By getting it out of your mind and off your chest, you’re able to find peace within your heart.

• Look for the positives. There are always positive things that come from every situation, even the bitterest of all conflicts. For example, you may have realized the importance of communication, interpersonal relationships, or forgiveness. When you can find something positive about a past situation you’ll find that coping with conflict is much easier.

• Focus on forgiveness. When you focus on forgiveness, the pain associated with conflict suddenly disappears. After all, we all make mistakes from time to time. When you realize that we live in an imperfect world it’ll be easier to let go of the hurt feelings and anger associated with the conflict.